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This is one mothers cry to remember the amazing moments and the not so amazing decisions we sometimes have to make!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Your daddy...THE INCREDIBLE HULK.
That is my husband, your daddy. He was diagnosed 8 months ago with a STAGE 4 cancer with a tumor that was 14x12x8. Huge..Out look not good. You're dad and I cried and cried and then your daddy got mad. He got mad that he was two months from the last day of his life. He got mad at never seeing you kids walk down the aisle, or graduate from college. He might never see you have your first job or drive your first car. He might not ever meet his grand kids....or see your lives thrive the way we prayed for each and every day.
And when he got mad he got GREEN....Incredible Hulk broke out of his soul and he fought each second of 8 months. He researched supplements and foods to flush his bad blood. He didn't eat any sugar knowing that cancer feeds on sugar. He turned down drinks. He turned down tobacco. He turned down every morsel of Christmas cookie and birthday cake. He gagged down nasty concoctions of oil and cottage cheese and seeds. He gagged down spinach and carrot smoothies. He ate to keep his strength and then snuggled you kids at night knowing full well if he moved he may have to vomit. He never did...he never let you see. He woke each day and went to exercise because he knew his muscles would prevent his life from fading.
Jerrod, your daddy never ONCE felt sorry for himself or wished this on someone else instead. He was happy that it was him...and not me...or one of you that had to go through this. He was and always has been our rock. My rock. Through thick and thin.
Today ....the doctors told us that Daddy is in remission. Remission means that your dad is one tough man. Remission means that I picked the right man to be your daddy. Remission means that this family....can do ANYTHING> Get ready kids...for the rest of your life....anything goes.
And when he got mad he got GREEN....Incredible Hulk broke out of his soul and he fought each second of 8 months. He researched supplements and foods to flush his bad blood. He didn't eat any sugar knowing that cancer feeds on sugar. He turned down drinks. He turned down tobacco. He turned down every morsel of Christmas cookie and birthday cake. He gagged down nasty concoctions of oil and cottage cheese and seeds. He gagged down spinach and carrot smoothies. He ate to keep his strength and then snuggled you kids at night knowing full well if he moved he may have to vomit. He never did...he never let you see. He woke each day and went to exercise because he knew his muscles would prevent his life from fading.
Jerrod, your daddy never ONCE felt sorry for himself or wished this on someone else instead. He was happy that it was him...and not me...or one of you that had to go through this. He was and always has been our rock. My rock. Through thick and thin.
Today ....the doctors told us that Daddy is in remission. Remission means that your dad is one tough man. Remission means that I picked the right man to be your daddy. Remission means that this family....can do ANYTHING> Get ready kids...for the rest of your life....anything goes.
THe day soooo far.
Ok. so today was suppose to be the greatest day ever!! It hasn't been so far. Jerrod and I both took the day off to go to his Doctor's appointment. Hoping the results from the PET scan showed no cancer.
We arrive at the doctors office and I have a headache. We walk in and there is a CAPPUCCINO stand there! So excited! Headache problem solved. JErrod smiles at me and we walk up to the lady and she informs us she's closed :(
We shrug it off...even though I really really wanted one. We go to the secretary lady to check in and she tells us we're a hour late. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Like we'd be an hour late for the appointment. Jerrod has a card that says the time...we're right...she's wrong I know it. She doesn't let us in ;( Go talk to scheduling.
We get scheduled for 2.5 hours later. TOO long for just a lunch. NOt long enough for movie. ???? We decide that our luck is sooo shitty we should go to the new Casino. We get there. Have an hour to gamble. We lose $150. Jerrod played two $25 hands of poker and the chick wiped us out. I played $100 of slots in 2.2 seconds. Guess we don't have luck and now I SMELL LIKE SMOKE...ewww... Now I have a serious headache. I see my mom's favorite slot machine and I tell Jerrod I have to try for her. I sit down...I WIN $50. WOOT WOOT...now we're down only $100. We have to leave to make our appointment...we rush out...even though I know I was supposed to stay and win more money.
We get to the Doctor...he's an hour behind :( We snuggle and read Cooking Magazines. Ok...so the day is looking up!! I sure do like my husband.
We arrive at the doctors office and I have a headache. We walk in and there is a CAPPUCCINO stand there! So excited! Headache problem solved. JErrod smiles at me and we walk up to the lady and she informs us she's closed :(
We shrug it off...even though I really really wanted one. We go to the secretary lady to check in and she tells us we're a hour late. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Like we'd be an hour late for the appointment. Jerrod has a card that says the time...we're right...she's wrong I know it. She doesn't let us in ;( Go talk to scheduling.
We get scheduled for 2.5 hours later. TOO long for just a lunch. NOt long enough for movie. ???? We decide that our luck is sooo shitty we should go to the new Casino. We get there. Have an hour to gamble. We lose $150. Jerrod played two $25 hands of poker and the chick wiped us out. I played $100 of slots in 2.2 seconds. Guess we don't have luck and now I SMELL LIKE SMOKE...ewww... Now I have a serious headache. I see my mom's favorite slot machine and I tell Jerrod I have to try for her. I sit down...I WIN $50. WOOT WOOT...now we're down only $100. We have to leave to make our appointment...we rush out...even though I know I was supposed to stay and win more money.
We get to the Doctor...he's an hour behind :( We snuggle and read Cooking Magazines. Ok...so the day is looking up!! I sure do like my husband.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Addy's Song
Today started out unlucky... but tonight as I go to bed I feel full of happiness. My truck is in the shop..I got a call and the back tail gate had $500 more damage than originally thought...and its a separate problem not covered by insurance. Low-down I had to make another claim and it'll cost another $250.
Tonight, we made a bomb-fire to roast brats and hot-dogs. Had strawberries and root beer. We played music and sang and danced. My boys are so funny when they dance...all happiness comes out and they let down their inhibitions.
Theren says, "Dad, will you help me write a love song to my girlfriend?"
Sure, what's she like?
t: She is pretty and smart. Brown hair.
How bout this..."Oh Julie, Julie, Julie, won't you always be mine! I like your brown hair, it like the way it shines in the night sky."
t: "NO Dad she likes cool songs that don't have her name in it."
Addy disappears and comes back with a paper and pencil. Boys are still dancing. She sits down and says, "Don't worry Theren, you want me to write it?"
t: "Sure Ad....make it cool "
ADDY's Song.
Can't you see me standing in this corner and loenly
The sekint I soll you baby I loved you right away
I aste you owt and I wantid to stay.
Tonight, we made a bomb-fire to roast brats and hot-dogs. Had strawberries and root beer. We played music and sang and danced. My boys are so funny when they dance...all happiness comes out and they let down their inhibitions.
Theren says, "Dad, will you help me write a love song to my girlfriend?"
Sure, what's she like?
t: She is pretty and smart. Brown hair.
How bout this..."Oh Julie, Julie, Julie, won't you always be mine! I like your brown hair, it like the way it shines in the night sky."
t: "NO Dad she likes cool songs that don't have her name in it."
Addy disappears and comes back with a paper and pencil. Boys are still dancing. She sits down and says, "Don't worry Theren, you want me to write it?"
t: "Sure Ad....make it cool "
ADDY's Song.
Can't you see me standing in this corner and loenly
The sekint I soll you baby I loved you right away
I aste you owt and I wantid to stay.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Unlucky Girl Post--the dogs.
My son has been begging and begging to get him a dog. He's nine. He's wonderfully sweet to animals. I'm not to keen on the dog poop or the footprints on my carpet. :( I really don't want one. I know it's good for him. One day a couple weeks ago these beautiful dogs show up. No tags. Seem so friendly. He spent the entire day with them. He wanted so bad for us to hang up signs for their owners to contact us, so I put it on Craigslist. I'm certain he was thinking that if they didn't contact us we would be able to keep them. I thought ok...if the owners don't contact us. I let him give them some water. BIG MISTAKE.
In the evening I hear some very strong barking coming from the garage. I run out there and the black dog (pitbull/lab mix?) is ON TOP OF MY SUV. It's barking at my cat who is in the top of my garage.
I yell...he barks.
I scream...he barks.
I throw a plastic flip flop...he climbs down, a different way than he got up.
The cat hisses...he climbs up...and then slides down the quarter panel.
I swear and throw a shoe...he jumps up on the door.
I start yelling and chasing him...he jumps up on the second door...and scrapes all the way down.
He leaves the garage. I close the garage door.
My truck has $2500 worth of damage according to the body shop....I call the owner to tell her I'd like to submit to insurance. She tells me my $100 deductible is too much...she has a baby on the way. What luck?
In the evening I hear some very strong barking coming from the garage. I run out there and the black dog (pitbull/lab mix?) is ON TOP OF MY SUV. It's barking at my cat who is in the top of my garage.
I yell...he barks.
I scream...he barks.
I throw a plastic flip flop...he climbs down, a different way than he got up.
The cat hisses...he climbs up...and then slides down the quarter panel.
I swear and throw a shoe...he jumps up on the door.
I start yelling and chasing him...he jumps up on the second door...and scrapes all the way down.
He leaves the garage. I close the garage door.
My truck has $2500 worth of damage according to the body shop....I call the owner to tell her I'd like to submit to insurance. She tells me my $100 deductible is too much...she has a baby on the way. What luck?
Unlucky Girl
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the good fortune of the love in my life...and sometimes I am overwhelmed by the overarching sense of unlucky-ness that falls on me. I'm sure that's a word. I'm sure that Dupree said it in, "You, Me and Dupree." I've decided to start chronicalling the bad fortune that befalls me and my loved ones.
Today, I got to the movies 20 minutes early. That's BEFORE previews. I decided to take my kids to the free movie at 1:45pm. Can't be too packed right! We go into the theater and it is completely full. There was no way I was watching the movie with the children all in different spots. (Could I get arrested for leaving two five year old's alone in a theater?)
We decide to leave and I'll have to pay for a different movie. We walk up to the counter and the only movie that is playing at the current time is Rango. Sounds like a kids movie, not sure what it's about but.. I tell the lady I'll exchange the tickets I have and purchase Rango tickets instead. WHAT? She tells me that she won't charge me today that it wasn't lucky that there weren't seats together. FREE movies! What luck!
Um....have you seen the movie. That wasn't lucky at all. The movie is about death, swearing, guns and disgusting creatures of all sorts of bad news. My five year old sat with his head burried into my side the entire time. My daughter plugged her ears for the duration. NOT A KIDS MOVIE> :( arg.
Today, I got to the movies 20 minutes early. That's BEFORE previews. I decided to take my kids to the free movie at 1:45pm. Can't be too packed right! We go into the theater and it is completely full. There was no way I was watching the movie with the children all in different spots. (Could I get arrested for leaving two five year old's alone in a theater?)
We decide to leave and I'll have to pay for a different movie. We walk up to the counter and the only movie that is playing at the current time is Rango. Sounds like a kids movie, not sure what it's about but.. I tell the lady I'll exchange the tickets I have and purchase Rango tickets instead. WHAT? She tells me that she won't charge me today that it wasn't lucky that there weren't seats together. FREE movies! What luck!
Um....have you seen the movie. That wasn't lucky at all. The movie is about death, swearing, guns and disgusting creatures of all sorts of bad news. My five year old sat with his head burried into my side the entire time. My daughter plugged her ears for the duration. NOT A KIDS MOVIE> :( arg.
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