Sunday, January 2, 2011

Theren..scared

The other night as I tucked you to bed you said, "Mom, how old will you be when I'm 13."

Well, Darling I'll be 41.

"Mom, is that old?"

No Theren.


"Mom, how old will you be when I'm 18."

I'll be 45.

"How old will I be when you die Mom?"

Oh Golly hun...I hope that you're an old old man.

A big giant crocodile tear welled up and flowed down your cheek...."Well mom, even though I'm gonna be an old man...I'm gonna miss you."

A big giant crocodile tear flowed down my cheek....."Theren, I'll miss you bigger."



I remember trying to make sense of death and dying when I was young.  I remember how scary and heartbreaking it made me feel.  I wish I could take that feeling away from you.  With your daddy being sick this is way to much pressure for a tiny little guy.  But the one thing I can say...when I do leave this earth....I will miss you BIGGER..  Theren, when I was here..you filled me with so much pride, wonder, amazement and love...that not one second of my life with you was wasted.  Just try to be strong and remember I will see you again.  EVERY single move you make will be with me by your side...I'll be in the sunshine...I'll be there...and when you need me... just close your eyes...feel the sunshine on your face...and I'll kiss your cheek.  Forever..Momma

1 comment:

  1. Amazingly, beautiful, Stacy. We are so glad you are our grandson's mama!
    Mom and Dad Sanders

    ReplyDelete